Bria (sistermoony) wrote in clandestiney,

I was telling Christy this, and I posted it in my journal...

Me too. To all of this. I've got this terrible scared feeling--like everything is about to fall apart, and I have to hold my breath lest I exhale too hard and knock something over. The dread and the fear is almost overwhelming, to the point that I'm having bizarre, disjointed nightmares that wake me up but dissipate as soon as I'm lucid. I can't catch them in time to remember what I dreamed.

I can't put my finger on what it is that's bothering me, and that scares me. I can't tell if I'm picking up intensity from you two *points at Christy and Tracey* or if my own feelings are growing stronger. I've had this nagging feeling for a while, but last week it got stronger and stronger until it...claimed me, I suppose. It dragged me into this miserable mood, threw off my concentration, my focus...I was losing it at work, my boss was bitching at me, and all I could think was 'something's very wrong'.

It's like I'm ready for this thing, whatever it is, to happen...and yet, I dread it.

(And on the subject of Bush: Tim had to take Sam out of my lap for fear I would throw her at the television last night, I got so angry.)
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